Sounds like the cam got out of phase, valves slammed the pistons and broke the rockers in the process. That's about the only theory I can come up with. Valves are probably bent and pistons probably have a nice imprint on them. I'd pull the head at least if you plan to do anything yourself, and see what the collateral damage is.
I'd also raise **** about denying the warranty regarding the oil change, as I do all my own too. Do you reset the oil life monitor at each change? The Traverse is my wife's car so we've kept OnStar on it, but I can pull up the OLM reset history going back to 2010. If you don't have OnStar, I wonder if maybe a reset is stored in the PCM?
I'd also raise **** about denying the warranty regarding the oil change, as I do all my own too. Do you reset the oil life monitor at each change? The Traverse is my wife's car so we've kept OnStar on it, but I can pull up the OLM reset history going back to 2010. If you don't have OnStar, I wonder if maybe a reset is stored in the PCM?